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Finally!

It's snowing!! :)

And in true Minnesota style, the weather is now -12.1 degrees celsius. And we are on a wind advisory till 6am.

And now... back to my paper.

Ready for home (or stream of consciousness or the rare introspection)

I'm ready to come home. I'm ready for chicken rice. I'm ready for no more cooking. I'm ready for no more classes and finals and studying. I'm ready to take a break from life here. For a while at least.

It's so strange though. That my life is part here part there. It's almost like I can escape one part for a bit and then come back to it later. It's weird. It's not real. But it is.

I miss my friends from home. I wonder how everyone is doing? I wonder how much of relationships is based on proximity. Out of sight, out of mind? Or does absence really make your heart grow fonder? What makes people click no matter how far apart they are? What happens when my friends graduate from Carleton? How much will I have to show for the time and energy I have invested into relationships here in the US? Or in Penang? Nothing lasts. Right? But then isn't the impact we make on other people one of two things that last? That you can take with you?

How many people have I impacted? Is it just a prideful "how many people can Josh impact" contest with myself? Or is it really motivated by a desire to show God's love? To the extent that you don't control people is the extent of how much they will be able to love you. I guess that's a paraphrase. Love and control are inversely correlated. The paradox of a Christian life. The paradox of God.

I am writing a song called Paradoxical God. People think it's a weird word to sing. I think it's cool. And true. Beauty for ashes. Joy for pain. We lose our life to gain it.

What satisfies me? Is it only God? That's what I claim. But is it true? Do people fulfill me? Do achievements become my obsession?

I miss home. I do. But then I don't at the same time. Because things in Penang seem foreign at times. But then again, they don't. Wow. Talk about confusion. Aren't I pass that stage? That's like SOOO teenage. :D haha.

I'm leading songs I don't know tomorrow at Rejoice. I miss FGAC. Not that I don't like Rejoice. But it's so different. I want to be challenged. I want to hear new revelation. I want to be excited about receiving the word of God. But is my focus wrong? Should I not be "I want"ing? Where is the line between going to church to receive and going to church to serve? How do you know you are not dependent on one more than the other? And if you don't go to church to receive, then WHERE do you receive? It's different than devotional times. It's different, believe me.

People. All these people I'm meeting and connecting with. Why? What? What to expect? What do I expect? How much of this lasts? How much of it counts in the big picture? In eternity?

Wow.

Good Food, Good Fun and a new song

Good food

Who says you can't eat well at college? Herewith I enclose evidence to the contrary. Evidence A: Steak dinner with Sammy boy. Look at the sheer ecstasy on his face. And yes, Josh did cook this meal! Ok not so much stick it into the foreman than literally cook it, but still... :)

Evidence B: FISH House invited me for dinner. Ok so it wasn't so much as I was invited than I got asked because I'm dating the house manager right? :) But Jason and Sarah made a fabuloso Mexican meal. I don't normally do Mexican. But this was muchos yummos.

Evidence C: Chinese food. Ok American Chinese food. Ok... American Chinese.. grub. :) From Mandarin Garden. BUT it was...

...Good Fun

This was good fun too. Going up to the cities for a Night of Desperation with the Desperation Band (more to follow below). But then going to Caf� Latte with friends, and having a blast!

It was fun. Eric agrees.

Sam and Christine were too engrossed with themselves... lol

And Erica and I were trying to guess the number of grains of salt and pepper in the shakers.

No we're not!

And of course good fun with Exit. Yes we are always this animated.

Er. Yeah.  

A new song

First of all, I mentioned that a bunch of us went up to the Desperation Band thing in the cities. Man, it was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. It was a powerful time of worship and prayer. And God broke my heart for certain issues and certain people. It has been a while (maybe it's never happened before) since I broke down, crying out for salvation for certain people. And then we had the opportunity to sign the "Desperation Vow". And this new song kind of came spilling out as I was playing the guitar in my room... YES, Jason lent me his guitar (he has two!) so now I have an Ovation sitting in my room! What a blessing!! :) But anyway. I have feeling this is going to be the first of many songs to come as a result of that time in God's presence and in choosing to take the vow.

I hope you guys enjoy it.

My Vow (Offering of Worship)
Jesus
What do I have to offer?
Nothing
Could ever repay the price
All I
Have to give in this life
Is all You’ve given to me

I will live a consecrated life
I will give an undivided heart
I will bring a sacrifice of praise to You
Every day I choose to bear my cross
For You sought me out when I was lost
I will bring an offering of worship to You

My life is yours
My will is yours
My heart is yours
I will bring this offering of worship to You

© 2005 Joshua Yeoh

Why Josh can't finish his work on time

Because he does things like this. Oh boy.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Low
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Low
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Low
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

Speaking what is not as if it were

I've been trying to get a different job. Let's just say it's very difficult to be passionate about making boxes for old books. And after having worked in a department that processes NEW books, I just really couldn't stand working with old books anymore. I really hated it.

So I've been looking for a new job. Always coming up with nothing. Nothing but dead ends that is.

So yesterday, I felt a witness to begin THANKING God for coming through for me instead of complaining or trying to open my own doors. The thought "speak what is not as if it were" came to mind. ANd I thought: I don't know... those word of faith things... but then I thought, FAITH. That's what I need. It's not just fancy words or empty words. But it's knowing that God WILL come through. So I started thanking God for coming through for me.

That afternoon my supervisor walks up to me and tells me that the new books people have asked that I work with them until the end of the term! YEAH! No more old books. :)

And who says God doesn't care about the little details in our life?

Bambi? Me?

Bambi


Which DISNEY character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is so messed up. I am NOT a Bambi! I guess Bobo was right? :) Lol.

Also I got Israel Houghton's latest Cd "Alive in South Africa" today!!! I'm so psyched!!! IT'S AMAZING! I mean... I haven't listened to all of it yet. But it will be amazing!!!! YAH!!! And the coolest part? The CD cover is like 3D!!! :O

The Corny Post: Mace

So Mace came to visit me in Northfield last weekend. She did such a great job blogging about it that I'm just going to point everyone in that direction for details. After all, women are much better with detail than men, right? I will, however, show you bee-you-tee-ful pictures and give you brief updates on ma vie � Northfield.

The cities

So on Saturday, Erica and I went up to the cities to meet Mace. We were late. No, the Light Rail made us late. :) But anyway, we got her car, and made our way to the Sculpture Garden at the Walker Art Institute. And took lots of pictures. Mace went bezerk when she saw a flock of geese flying overhead. It was funny.

I'm trying my hand at modern art. Guess not huh?

We then went to Zeno's for dessert and coffee, where I contracted rabies.

And then we went to the lake... so now Mace has seen 1 of 10,000. 9,999 to go.

Mace and Erica's photo shoot. For Nokia. Or Motorola. Whatever.

Later that evening, we went to get some delicious sushi. And met up with Ai Li. For like 45 minutes. It was intense. The sushi I mean. Ai Li was ok. Haha. I'm kidding.

Then Mace and I hit the bars... lol. Not quite, we went to a jazz club called the Artist Quarter. There was a CD release party - and the quartet playing was amazing! Pin would have loved it. :)

Welcome to Northfield

The next day Mace and I drove down to Northfield. She was taken by the fluffy trees. Fluffy? Trees? :) Went to Rejoice! and in the afternoon we went out biking. So I used to remember Mace as this really sporty girl right? And so when we went biking, I turn around and she's GONE! Haha. This was the approximate distance between the two of us. That's me taking a picture of her! :)

So we biked out to the wind turbine.

Went to the upper arb. "Yo mah peepz!"

Lower arb photo session! Lol

Yup. I have a tree growing out of my head.

And biked around campus too. This is Goodsell Observatory.

We also visited the Japanese Garden. Sigh. Mace's camera is really cool!

I wonder...

Two childhood friends. All grown up. *tear*

See. She looks like she's up to the task, but really, she just got on the bike after having pushed it all the way uphill! Lol

Mace joined us for Mustard SEed and then we did a Perkins run and played silly games till 1:30 am! What fun!

So it was truly a blessing to have Mace come visit. I love it when my worlds collide. Who's coming to visit me next ??? :) Here are a couple more quick updates before I go.

• Lots of work due the next week or so. So prayer please :)
• Leading worship at Rejoice on Sunday! Prayer again! :)
• Got the newest Ross Parsley CD - i Love the first song!!
• Fall is really pretty
• Tonight is set up your room mate. I am butter looking for popcorn! My favorite pair was "Paris Hilton" looking for "self respect" hahaha.

I leave you with a beautiful fall shot. Love you all!  

Cop Out Post. Temporary Measure.

Ok. Here's the deal. Mace came to visit over the weekend. And we had a BLAST. And I have tons and tons of pictures. Don't ask. :) BUT. I am kind of busy right now... so this will have to pull you over to the weekend when I can sit down and write a blog entry worthy of a great friend!

Here it is. The link to Mace's blog! hahaha.

Things I'm thankful for: Halfway there!

It seems so surreal that I am already at the halfway point in my fall term as a junior. Only five and a half more terms till I graduate! Wow. Time seems so short here. Teach me God to redeem the time that I have here and to make every moment count. To number my days so that I would gain a heart of wisdom.

And there is just so much to be thankful for. Take this week for instance...

Things I am thankful for...

• Freshmen Fondue Fridays today. It was amazing. We had 9 people AND something like 4 parents (because it's parents weekend here at Carleton), many of whom have never been to FFF before. It was refreshing to hear about people's stories, and lives, and meeting their parents... because really, watching a kid interact with his or her parents gives you a whole lot of insight into the kid's life. And we had SWISS FONDUE. It was amazing to say the least. :) And of course, my two very awesome co-leaders. :)
  
• Exit 69's first performance today as part of the a cappella fest for parents weekend. It was exciting to see this new group gel and raise the level for their very first performance. And the group dynamics are so different now. People who encourage one another, for one. I think we did pretty well for our first performance. There are issues... there are always issues. But I'm thankful for this vineyard that God has given me.
  
• Connecting with people. Freshmen, upperclassmen. I had the privilege of making and having dinner with a freshman from Exit this week. Not often you hear an upperclassman saying that right? But it was a privilege because I am realizing more and more that every person is more than just what you see. Every person has all these years of memories, stories, history that make a person unique. So often we don't really take the time to get to know people. And if the only thing you can take with you other than your relationship with God is the impact you make on other people's lives, then this is something we really should be doing.
  
• God appointments. Meeting a prospective student who is so on fire for God. And praying for her brother who is not a believer. And hearing that prospie's story of how she came to Christ. How amazing. How humbling. How powerful.
  
• God appointments. Meeting an alum who stirred up possibilities in terms of what to do after Carleton. Having doors opened in this area. Meeting with Laura to research psych internships and grad school stuff.
  
• Getting work done. It feels so good to be done with my midterms. And psych lab reports. And just the way God worked out everything so that everything worked out.
  
• This hasn't technically happened yet, but going up to the cities tomorrow with Erica. And meeting Mace at the airport! And spending a great weekend chilling with KUM from home! :) It will be sweeeeet.
  

What an amazing first of the term it has been. God never ceases to amaze. He leads me by still waters and his rod and staff comfort me every single day! One thing I've been learning is to learn to depend on God for everything. When you start out each day focused on God, it's almost like, hey all these trappings of earth, they are nothing compared to the bigness that is our God.

So, I guess it would be an understatement to say that I'm excited for the next half of the term to unfold. I am praying for fruit. I am praying for more doors to be opened. For more people that God will use me to impact. For more revelation of His character. For more songs to be written. For a deepening of relationships with the people in my life. For world peace. Hehehe. Just kidding. Although that would be awesome too.

Highlights and a song

Some highlights from the past week:

• Having more time to myself, for others, and most importantly for God. It's been amazing how things are in the right perspective when God is in the center of your life.
  
• Speaking at the Chapel Service. Spoke on the 2 things you can take with you when you leave this earth: your relationship with God and the impact you've made on others, and related it to the theme "Works in Progress".
  
• It was fun to meet the Christian alumni too. Spoke with Nancy, the alum speaker at the service, and I think it was one of those God-appointed moments. She's a professional psychologist... a doctor! :) I feel my future coming into focus a little bit more.
  
• Connecting with cool people everywhere - in Exit 69, in the christian community, outside of Carleton.
  
• Going to the Greenvale Elementary School. I help out at a third grade class. It is a lot of fun. Today one boy had the hiccups... I couldn't stop smiling. It was the cutest thing. I told him holding his breath might help... and he did. I had to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't kill himself. :)
  

I also wrote a song that I'd like to share with you. It's called Is Anyone Out There?.
I see it in your eyes
The pain you keep inside
From all the times you’ve been abused, rejected, hurt and scorned
I hear it in your voice
The fear that once was joy
Because of all the broken words and words that have broken you
I see you reaching out
Then pulling back in doubt
And I can hear you whispering so silently
Crying out so tenderly

Is anyone out there?
Anyone who can mend this broken heart and make it whole
Is anyone out there?
Anyone who can tell me I don’t have to face this on my own
Is anyone out there?

I feel it in your touch
How it’s hurting you so much
How you cannot seem to find a way to leave the past behind
I know you are afraid
Of what was and what’s been said
And in spite of all you do the answers keep eluding you
I see you reaching out
Through all the fear and doubt
And I can hear you whispering so silently
Crying out so tenderly

Is anyone out there?
Anyone who can catch these teardrops every time they fall
Is anyone out there?
Anyone who can be with me and hold me through it all
Is anyone out there?

You see me reaching out
Through all my fear and doubt
And I can hear You whispering so silently
Crying for me tenderly

I’ll be with you out there
I’ll be the one to mend your broken heart and make it whole again
I’ll be with you out there
I’ll be the one to tell you you don’t have to face this all alone
I’ll be with you out there
And every time you cry I’ll catch the teardrops from your eyes
I’ll be with you out there
Until the end of time I’ll be with you and call you mine
I’ll be with you out there

© 2005 Joshua Yeoh

The one where Josh plays catch-up

So most of you are probably wondering if I had already fallen off the face of the earth. I am happy to report that 1. gravity is still working, 2. the earth is still round, and it would thus be impossible for me to fall off it and 3. I am finally updating my blog! *cheers* So we'll start with a quick continuation of part of the Yeohs' trip to the US.

Minnesota: The Land of 10, 000 lakes

Welcome to Minnesota. We spent a relaxing week up in Breezy Point: the middle of the middle of nowhere. But it was exactly the relaxing break that I needed before the craziness of Carleton began. Here are some highlights... we climbed up a historic fire tower...

Mom had to leave her mark of course.

And Dad didn't make it all the way to the top. You should ask him about it. *grin*

We spent lazy days in the lake...

...admiring the beauty of Minnesota, and the work of God's hands...

...feasting at yummy restaurants...

... boating...

... goofy Josh ...

... the day out on the lake was amazing!

... we caught some good fish out on the lake, but most of our fish was caught like this...

... and like this ...

... and while I didn't catch the most number of fish, I did catch the biggest one ...

... which Dad and Mom whipped up into a yummy dinner!

Then it was back to Northfield. And Carleton. My parents stayed through the first week of school, helped me unpack, cooked stuff and froze them for me, met all my friends, "stole my thunder" as Erica likes to say, and got to be a part of my world here at Carleton, if for a while. That meant a lot to me. And I know that that would be one of the things that I will remember for years to come. Plus, everyone thought I had the coolest, youngest-looking, "hip" parents. :) But then again, that's just to be expected right? After all, come on, look at ME. he he he. So, thanks Mom and Dad for a GREAT holiday. I enjoyed every moment of it, and it was such a blessing to be able to spend so much quality time with the both of you. The only thing that could have made our time better was if Caleb had been there too. But oh well, ... Graduation! :)  

Since then...

Now, for some updates. Since my parents left, a lot has gone on. It feels like it's been forever, but it really only has been two weeks. Here's a quick update of what's been going on in Josh's life... interview-style.

Upper Consciousness: So, Josh tell us what's going on with you academically?
Josh: Josh is taking Psychology of Language (which rocks, but is a TON of work), Educational Psychology (where he gets to spend 3 hours a week with third graders... and he taught them about Malaysia, how to say "apa khabar" and what a tsunami was) and yes, rumors are true... wo xuexi Hanyu! Josh is studying Chinese. When he comes home to Penang though, he will be speaking with a Beijing accent! :)

UC: Why are you speaking in the third person?
Josh: Well, I don't usually. But I started typing that way, and then decided to do it interview style, and was too lazy to go back and change the pronouns. Plus, Josh thinks only cool people talk in the third person. Josh knows.

UC: Er, whatever. So what else has been new with you? Give us some highlights.
Josh: Wow. So many cool things are happening. First there is Freshmen Fondue Fridays which opened with a bang! We had a whole bunch of freshmen join us. It was exciting. Then there is Exit 69 which is going extremely well this year. I really believe pigs flew the day I said "I am loving Exit 69!". But yup, I guess pigs do fly, because the group really is so different now. I also led worship at Rejoice!, my home church in Northfield. And Pat Shelby is back, leading worship, recovered from brain aneurysm! What a miracle, how awesome is our God?!

UC: So I totally said a fewhighlights. Obviously, "Josh" has some problems being concise.
Josh: Ok whatever. You are my upper consciousness, and I can shut you off whenever I want... I'm not listening to you anymore.

Lower consciousness: You forgot about me though! Ha. I'll continue the interview, UC. How about your living situation?
Josh: MAN! What a blessing. I got drawn into a townhouse by Aki. So I'm rooming with Leslie, who is originally from Ghana but is now from Chicago. And he's an awesome man of God. We get along great... AND the townhouse is SUPER. It's an two-storey apartment... we have our own living room, kitchen, laundry facilities, and my room is huge... and my walk-in closet is ENORMOUS! What a blessing. And we take turns to cook too.. and both Aki and Leslie are wonderful cooks. Me? I just defrost what Mom and Dad froze for me.

LC: Anything NOT been going well?
Josh: Well, thanks for asking really. Because in fact, last week was kind of a "hell week" for me. My schedule is just a lot to handle at the moment. I have had to draw close to God like crazy... because I am not able to handle things. I have incredibly LONG days with very little time for lunch even! As a result, got a little bit sick... and you know how things are when you're not feeling well. But well... things will get better.I believe it, because God promises peace for those whose minds are stayed on Him. And I am believing that promise. I would love it if you would keep me in your prayers though!

LC: Wow, I'll remember to pray for you too. Even when you're not "conscious" of it. Ha ha. A little consciousness joke.
Josh: Are you REALLY my consciousness? You are freaking me out.

LC: Well this was fun. But don't you have to get up early for church tomorrow?
Josh: Yeah I do. I'm playing keys and singing. And tomorrow is going to be a long day... I have a whole bunch of things to do, including studying for an ORAL midterm - who knew there were such things? So stressful lah. And it's only week 3 - we're having midterms... what?

LC: It's really been great hearing about what's going on with you. I know people will be praying for you!
Josh: I know that too. Thanks so much guys. Now I really have to stop... because I'm actually conversing with myself right now, in my head. And I'm in psychology to help psychos... not become one. So... good night.

LC: Good night.
UC: GOOD NIGHT! God bless!

The Yeohs (well 3 out of 4) go to America: Part Two

Well here it is: Part Two. I am now in Breezy Point, Minnesota. We are way up north in Minnesota (although still not quite near the Boundary Waters) and we are in the middle of the middle of nowhere. :) But it's great. After the big cities, it's nice to have some downtime before the craziness at Carleton begins. To give you an idea of how small Breezy Point is, it takes us less than a minute to drive through the town! Haha. Anyway, that is Part Three of my update. We are now at Part TWO: Cape Cod, MA.

Yarmouth, Cape Cod

We spent an amazing week at Cape Cod. It was beautiful and relaxing. Such a great holiday place. Number of Asians seen besides my parents: 2. One was the Chinese take out lady. So the first day we took a drive to Hyannis, the town next to Yarmouth. Beautiful harbor.

This picture was taken for Francis' terrapin. I'm sorry I couldn't find a pino. And yes, Pina is a garbage company. Lol.

Well, we went to Province Town which is located on the "fist" of Cape Cod. If you don't know, Cape Cod is shaped like a flexed arm. Provincetown is a very gay-friendly town... in fact I don't think I've seen so many gays and lesbians in one place at a time! But well. That's a different blog entry. We had a great time there... it was a very lively and touristy town.

This is the Pilgrim's Tower. Apparently the pilgrims came to Provincetown before Plymouth. Who knew?

We went whale watching. It was the best thing! We had an INCREDIBLY successful outing. We had 20 sightings! Imagine that. 12 finback whales and 8 humpback whales! We even saw a mother whale and her baby whale doing backflips! It is truly a sight to behold.

And I would sincerely like all of you to see it, except my camera batteries konked out when we had our first sighting. So all I have to show of my great whale chasing expedition is this miserable picture. Sigh.

Anyway, back in the hotel, the two bags my parents bought from the luggage shop on the 1st floor in Gurney Plaza, center concourse (hint hint) finally broke apart. Here's mom trying to sew it back. DON'T buy bags from that shop. It's horrible! Tore on day one!

Well we climbed up the Scargo Tower and had a great view of the Cape.

That's mom and dad!

And we visited many tiny towns and cute shops with lots of knick-knacks. My parents had a great time. I sat around and took pictures.

We went lighthousing! That was fun. This is the lighthouse at Chatham. Chatham is a BEAUTIFUL town.

Here we are up on top. Learned a lot about lighthouses. But I'm too lazy to impart the knowledge. Plus, how many of you are actually reading this? :)

Here are mom and dad.

Them again. You know, all their pictures turn out so nice (thanks to moi! :) hehe) but I don't have many good pictures. And it's NOT my fault! Lol

Here we are dipping our feet in the Atlantic Ocean. It really is amazing... it's so vast and COLD!

And we just drove where our will took us. And discovered many "hidden treasures".

Of course being at Cape Cod, one HAS to eat lobster. One day I had lobster for lunch AND dinner! This was the best deal though. It was $19.90 for TWO lobsters, corn, coleslaw AND rice!! Oooooo.

Can you tell I LOVE lobster?

Boston

We also took a day trip to Boston. It's a beautiful city. Although I don't think we spent enough time to truly appreciate it! We took a tour with Duck Tours. here is Captain Foghorn! haha.

Boston skyline!

Quincy Market. Lots of knickknacks here. Took my parents to Crate & Barrel too! They loved it. I LOVE the place. :) Haha. They bought stuff from there... too bad it's so much of a hassle to ship things back.

Being in the "Harvard of the Midwest", I simply had to go visit the real thing right? :) So we made a trip to Harvard. Ya know... to "prospie" there. Haha. Yeah right.

And the Harvard graduate. This is the Harvard campus at UM! HAha | 
So I'm an idiot and I clicked publish when I didn't mean to. Anyway here is Harvard again!

And we got to meet up with Ing Chea! He showed us around his lab at MIT.

And let us touch liquid hydrogen. Or was it nitrogen? Hmm. Who knows?

The genius.

And we took him out to a Malaysian restaurant. Preeetty good food!

Back on the cape

Cape Cod really was a great time. A nice change of pace from New York, but oh so beautiful. One day we got lost so many times looking for a flea market. But it really was God because we arrived just in time for great deals...

... and then we went to this beach for a walk... (here's the BOY)

and the BUOY! ha ha ha ha

... and we were witness to one of God's most beautiful creations: the sunset! First time in our lives we'd ever seen the sun LITERALLY go down into the horizon. I have a great video!

What a beautiful end to our time at Cape Cod!

What an awesome reminder of God's constant faithfulness, favor and hand upon our lives. His mercies are new every morning. His faithfulness high as the clouds. What a great God we serve.